never let it fade away

A beautiful five seconds, and I ought to have held onto it longer, stared at it for as long as it would have lasted, but then that desire to MAKE it last longer got the better of me, and I stupidly blurted out "I wish I could take a photo of this", and the magical moment disappeared. SIGHSIGHSIGH.

Plenty of stuffs made me happy today (: my morning text, my MAGIC MOMENT, cake!, a very interesting girl talk, solving hard math questions with class, GP video lesson where I stayed awake for once and actually did lots of copying straight from the video and not just from the board, productive physics tutorial, class mugging again, NO TUITION!!, being productive in math...THANKS FOR CHANGING MY MIND.

Omg I can't wait for 7th october.

It's amazing (and disconcerting) to find out so many things about myself that I never knew about, and I'm not proud of all of them.

Have more faith. Have more trust. Be more willing, and ready, to excuse and forgive. Don't take offence at little things. Don't be oversensitive, even if others are insensitive. Don't jump to conclusions, and nurse minor grudges. Have an open heart. Don't be selfish. Don't expect too much, you aren't the queen. Be more thankful, be appreciative. You'll find yourself, and others, happier this way.

I'm saying all these but I feel so daunted right now. I think it is because I try hard to please, and I want to see my efforts appreciated, and my affections returned. Like, SEE it, not just know it. Lord, please let me learn to be magnanimous as well. Sincerely I will try. (:

Edit: It's easy and tempting to just let people know if you're a little less than pleased, and just get it sorted out, but only if it's a matter serious enough, I think. Change yourself before you get others to change, that's the challenge.

"My love is still deep, but my patience is thin." How easily I get into such a situation, and how I want to change that.
/edit

i keep forgetting.
how do i deal with things like that?
to make sure success and happiness comes out of it?
to prevent anyone from getting hurt?
i thought it was a bed of roses.
swallow your high expectations, they belong to fairytales.

i just popped by http://community.livejournal.com/news_jpop and felt exactly the same way I feel each time I happen to pop by that place. WHAT ON EARTH HAVE I BEEN MISSING OUT ON? buzzer beat, 24-hr tv, tanabata matsuri subbed, with the making-of as well, concert updates, scans, more 24-hr tv, backstage stuff, that ryo-drama with a strange name (wait crap I think he had two dramas while I was gone), uh massu's new butai (*________*), more 24-hr tv stuff (i see a Massu Synchronized Swimming somewhere *_________*) tegomass @ music fair, shokura, koyama @ hi hey say, more 24-hr tv, koyashige, tegomass no uta, pi and ryo have Influenza A (!!!), more 24-hr tv--

)':

exams end in uhm, one and a half months' time. I can wait, I can wait.

econs is coming along slowwwwwly. come on concentrate and use your brains. I'm lucky I don't have to take chem tomorrow. I ought to chuck Rose In Bloom back onto a shelf somewhere I keep inching towards it but ooh. so lovely :D and I hate studying when I'm sick. the throat's feeling all gritty and hot and it makes me wanna shove ice cubes down. today's also the second tuition I've missed this week because I thought it got changed to 1pm, and I read the sms that it got changed back to 9am at like, 930 this morning. :/ so that gave me 2 extra hours to while away mug, but now I'll hafta drag butt down sometime next week (my hols! sigh) to do a makeup. my tuition is freaking cool btw. it's held in a bomb shelter :D

I LOVE AMEBA.

and I love it when my mom goes shopping, because she always ends up buying things for me, regardless of who the original recipient of her shopping was. :D:D:D:D:D

Hmm, there always seems to be a new Song of the Week for me, not necessarily new songs, just songs that I suddenly fall in love with (all over again) and undoubtably end up looping like mad for the days to come. Phases I guess. I've gone through Summer Time, Kiss~Kaerimichi no Love Song, One Love, Love So Sweet, My Treasure, Stand By Me... now it appears to be Hug (: the korean version, though I swear, the english one has some damn cute lyrics, I was positively beaming at the bridge.

The Korean version:

[Jaejoong] I want to be your bed in your room for just a day
I want to make you go to sleep, comfortably, warmly in my arms
[Micky] for you, I'd win over all your problems and all your busy errands,
Even the monster in your dream


[Jaejoong] I wonder how a day without me passes by for you
I wonder how much you really love me


[Xiah] I want to be your diary in your little drawer
I want to put all your secrets in my heart, without you knowing


[Changmin] I want to be your kitty for just a day
You feed it warm milk and softly embrace it


[Yunho] Seeing your playfulness with the cat and your cute kisses to it
I guess I even felt a little jealous


[Micky] My heart is like this...
[Xiah] You're the only person who can see it
[Micky] No matter who I see, or where I am,
[Xiah] I only look at you


[Changmin] I want to be your close lover just for a day
I'd be able to listen to your accomplishments and even your complaints
[Xiah] Just for you


[Changmin] In my heart, in my soul
Love is still something that's awkward to me but
[Jaejoong] I want to you give you everything in this world
Even if it would only be in my dreams


[Changmin] My heart is like this
Just the fact that I can watch over you,
[Xiah] Makes me so grateful, Im so happy, even if I lack a lot


[Jaejoong] I want to be your lover forever
When you are in my arms, I want to become stone
So we can stay this way forever
-------

Cassaopeia cheers are so cute lol, in the middle of the dance they started chanting their names, then Saranghaeyo Hamkaehaeyo DONG BANG SHIN KI!
whee dbsk (:

I realise most of the stuff in this blog are lighthearted happyish stuff. If my life had ups middles and downs, almost everything in this LJ are the middles. The ups and the downs go into private LJs/diaries (yeah I'm old-fashioned and I keep a diary :P) proof that blogs can never completely replace good ol' diaries :D (which happens to be a GP essay I did last year hahaha)

Nursing a flu. Spent the day mugging, looping Hug on the laptop (sadly, poor sound quality, and I'm too lazy to do anything about it), watching movies (Addams Family Values hahaha) and sleeping. Good life for a social recluse :P nah, kidding. A homebody is who I'm gonna be anyway for the next three days, save for tuition and I WANNA WATCH UP. AND CUT MY HAIR. Interestingly, my favourite tuition is the one with the slavedriver for a tutor heehee. And uhm, was looking at lishie's facebook photos today and thinking that her short hair is really really nice :D :D and was thinking of doing the same to my hair but not sure if I can pull it off D: and anyway I would miss my long hair too much but ugh i'm damn annoyed with my hair right now! Overly thick, and getting slightly frizzy, despite the huge quantities of conditioner, sigh. wth I'm rambling. goodnight :D

you may do anything you like, but you can't bend my will like that. you can take away everything, but you can't take my memories. you can't stop me from being strong, you can't get me down. I made a promise and I'm not breaking it.

You seem so determined to get me down, but my world is a happier place than that (:
Thank God for my happy world.

happy birthday masuda-bun.
:D

reading past entries always makes me face-palm/laugh at how silly I sounded/cringe/might-as-well-skip-the-whole-entry/delete the entry/eeyer-close-the-window-lah.

no wonder jee deleted/locked all her archives.

since I was supposed to be mugging econs but ended up checking out all my flist's ljs instead--

recently I realised how easily satisfied I was with myself. that's kinda shameful! D: we always hear of people who set high standards for themselves, but go lenient on others. I seem to be the exact opposite, I'm always making up excuses for myself, telling myself that I've done well enough, never bothering to reach higher standards. perhaps being over-optimistic? and yet I have high expectations of others, and get undeniably disappointed in them if they don't do things the way I expect.

well people have their excuses too :D forgive and forget, and give people chances.

and today I also understood why they always say we whine about what we don't have and easily forget about what we do have. of course we've all heard that, but we don't stop to think of how it applies to us. or simply dismiss it as something that cannot be helped, because it's in our characters to do so. so I ought to make this a constant reminder: cherish what you have, don't be overwhelmed by yearning for more.

on another note, City Harvest spoke of the 15-Revolution. honestly I've forgotten about it for a long time, but I think I ought to work on it. starting from home :D

2 more days to CTs, 4 days of torture, and it's plaaaaaaytimeeeeee! happyhappy (:

rescued an old (but working perfectly) clock from daddy a couple of days ago:


old clock


new clock

I like the old one better :/

The sight of this yesterday made me laugh :D

washed toys drying on the sofas. only the ones on the smaller sofa are mine lol.

Found a sweet loop-worthy korean song (:

Together make it love
Forever making you smile
Fill me with your happy smiles
Together make it love
Forever make it your smile
Hold on now, hold on to my hand
Stand by me
Look towards me
Even though I don't understand love yet
Stand by me
Watch over me
Even though I'm not good with love

everyone's crazy over bof xD GU JUN PYO! :D

HAPPY 25TH BIRTHDAY TO LISA!! (:

FOR BEING THE COOLEST HIPPEST MOST BELOVED KITCH IN THE WORLD,

ILUSM <3

( The image meme I did a while back )

hope's been fulfilled <3

 

I really really really hate being sick ):

Home comfort is good but I have way too much free time, and I can't swallow.

*goes to download KAT-TUN song previews*

[edit]
zhiwei: "...but I have a fever so can't go tmr, so can't mug anyway haha."
sarah: "I know you wanna be hot but don't need to go to this extent."
zhiwei: "Pfft rubbish lah you hahaha. You're the one who wants to be hot."
sarah: "You're incorrect. I am hot! B-)"
zhiwei: "must be kos I spent yesterday evening with you, no wonder got a fever now tsk."
sarah: "yeah I think so too. sorry about that."
zhiwei: "you can compensate me in doctor's fees."
sarah: "I think I'll just give you some cold jokes."

lol sarah.
eeyer I just spent the whole day in bed. for serious.
[/edit]

1. Woke up at 6.30 this morning so michelle could pick me up at 7.30
2. Didn't manage to watch performance in the end, but took many photos and re-lived old OM days, which was all fun.
3. Ajisen Ramen's japanese peach juice is really good.
4. Studied with yan at national library. Finished math assignment woohoo!
5. Claire + Sarah = crack <3
6. Easter drama was really good. My first CHC play too (:
7. Mich and louis sending texts mid-drama to announce om results hehe iowa!

Come to the Father though your gift is small
Broken hearts, broken lives He will take them all
The power of the Word, the power of His Love
And everything was done so you would come

I was walking down to the front with claire, and sarah was right behind, and suddenly I wept like a baby, just like the first time I walked down there with sarah, but then it felt so right.



today was an exceptionally good day.

one week ago I was being completely smart and shooting 50m outdoors in dark jeans :/ oddly, the sunburn on my arms hasn't gone away completely.

wrote a journal-entry-thingy for Ms Nair that was everything I wanted to say. wish I could talk/write better, but I'm sorta satisfied nevertheless. it's funny how much you can put on paper, and pour out to people who are almost strangers, but you can't say that much to the people who really matter. but I love the people in my life, with all my heart. you and you and you and you and you(: